the end of a beginning

Have you ever heard this saying: "the beginning to an end"? I am sure most have heard it even in simple passing conversation. Usually it is accompanied by "finally!" and can sometimes go something like "Finally! The beginning to an end of....". To me it has always held a negative connotation for some reason. Perhaps because I have never been much for "ending" anything... I am one of those resistant to change types I suppose. You know the type: never throws anything away, hates to say good-bye, loves simple daily routines such as wash face, brush teeth, brush hair in that exact order every morning. In fact, I only get a hair cut once a year for fear the person doing to cutting may go a little too far and I may not recognize myself afterwards!

I can't say every aspect of my life is controlled by these uncontrollable urges. I do like to try new things, taste new foods, meet new people, learn new things. Perhaps this is why I much more enjoy the phrase "the end of a beginning". It means I have introduced something new into my life which is just beginning to blossom. Some may say they have started a new chapter in their lives but I would prefer to say I have opened a new book. Chapters end as books... well they have the potential to be endless.

And so this brings me to the introduction of my blog: "Jen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". Perhaps it sounds familiar? It is a play on the wording to the title of a book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Robert M. Pirsig. If you are not familiar with this book I do highly recommend it. It is a philosophical book that will challenge your mind and spirit. Just so you have an idea I will quote the back cover:

The extraordinary story of a man's quest for truth. It will change the way you think and feel about your life.

How I came to read this book is a funny story - I will try to make it short (something I generally fail at as you will see if you choose to follow this blog spot). As a child my fondest memories are of spending time with my Father in our garage as he taught me the art of motorcycle maintenance, in the literal sense. My small hands and fingers could always get to the nuts and bolts that his could not. My Father was, and continues to be, a wonderful teacher always so patient and thorough with my always curious questions and desire for knowledge. As a teenager I stumbled on this book. I cannot recall whether it was part of the family library or someplace else but regardless I thought it was a book about a guy named Zen who took road trips on his unreliable motorcycle and was always stopping to make the necessary repairs - right up my alley! Boy was I wrong (for the most part at least).

Eventually I did read this book cover to cover and it was enlightening to say the least. The thing that always stayed close to me was the way the author took two things that most people would think completely separate and unrelated - motorcycling and philosphies of life - and joined them so seamlessly. In this way I could really relate to this book. I have always felt like a person with many different and unrelated talents and fulfillments and wasn't sure how they all were meant to work together. I felt jumbled and contradicted by my own self at times.

But as I have grown into adulthood, and now what I feel has been the defining moments for me: Motherhood, the pieces are falling into place. I am realizing now that all those traits, abilities... whatever we will call them... although at one time seemed jumbled and jarbled now are beginning to shape into a cohesive unit that is me. They were the beginnings to my now and future... hence the end of a beginning.