Work It Out

Well this week I have FINALLY been able to start the excercise classes with TLC Fitness that I have been so looking forward to! Last night I went to a yoga class while Dave stayed home with Luke. This was a GREAT class and I think it will really help me prepare for a positive hypnobirthing experience. It is a great way to focus on your breathing to help you relax and untense your body and muscles as your doing yoga stretches and positions. This is exactly what one needs to do in labor (minus the yoga positioning of course) and especially in hypnobirthing, which is a method of helping you train your mind to be positive while breathing and relaxing your whole body. After only five minutes of the class I realized how helpful this was going to be when the baby is ready to be born. And not only that but it will help me stay fit and healthy for the last half of my pregnancy. Can't beat that! The class is specifically geared for pregnant moms so all the excercises are safe and effective and the classes are kept small for better individual focus on what your doing and if your doing it right. I am so glad I found this class! Thanks Denise for recommending it!



In addition to the yoga class TLC Fitness also offers an excercise class for expecting and new moms. Again the classes are kept small for more individual attention and the excercises are safe and effective! I was a little hesitant and skeptical of trying this class out because it meets in the mornings and that means taking Luke with me. This has NEVER worked in the past. I used to have a gym membership that I used frequently before Luke was born. Once he was born I was hoping to get back into my regular visits, but I didn't like having to leave Luke in the play area because I knew he would be scared and upset and I didn't think it fair to put him through that so I ended up cancelling the membership hoping to achieve my fitness goals on my own at home. Luckily these classes are held in a small building and the layout is such that the play area for the kids is a room connected to the class room by a glass wall separating the rooms so the kids can see us and vice versa. Also, because it is Mama and Me class (meaning the new moms bring the babies and incorporate them into their workout) it is no big deal for Luke to go back and forth from the play room into the class if he wants to be near me while the class is in progress. In fact, Terri, the instructor, has a 10 month old daughter of her own who she brings to class so it doesn't get any more kid friendly than that. I couldn't have been happier AGAIN!



The only down side is that this is just one more out of pocket expense that our family on a budget has to endure. This means in order to participate in the classes I will have to sacrifice something else. It will probably end up being the organic produce group I belong to. I end up spending at least $100 per month on this and although I have come to really love the group and the produce the fact that I can purchase any of the same items for pretty much the same cost at the organic market down the street and only have to spend money on what we need makes this the obvious sacrifice. I will continue to prepare all my healthy meals but I will only have to purchase exactly the amounts of items that I will need and I know will be eaten so I know it won't be a complete loss.



I recommend anyone looking for a great way to excercise in a great environment to check out TLC Fitness! Thanks again to Dr. Denise for recommending this to me!

Pictures Here We Come

Well I have finally figured out how to upload some pictures to my laptop (at least for one of our cameras) so I figured I would post some new pictures of Luke since it has been quite a while!

He's definitely a climber!

And he loves Grandpa's motorcycle!

And he loves to get into everything around the house! which gives me no time at all to blog these days... I better finish this later!

Interesting Study on Pitocin

Ever since a not so positive birth experience when Luke was born I have been reading and contemplating and conversing about medical intervention during labor and birth. Although I do see it as positive in very obvious circumstances (ie: when mother recieves a c-section when the baby or mother's health or life is threatened) I do not support the "run of the mill" interventions that are often given to laboring women to help "speed things along". I think one of my new pet peeves has actually become women who induce early simply due to physical discomfort (hey we are ALL uncomfortable when we are pregnant it doesn't last forever!) or because they seem to think the baby is getting "too big" or my favorite that I recently heard (and kills me because it is someone I am related to) "the ultrasound shows the baby is fully developed so the baby must be ready to be born". Baby's know when they are ready! as do our bodies!
But I am already off on a tangent.
Personally in my first birth experience I was very uninformed (but actually a run of the mill woman expecting her first child - I think we are all in a different place "then" before we know what we know now if you know what I mean). I was in some la-ta-de-da world thinking that because I had given my OB/midwife team a list of requests (such as I wanted to avoid an episiotomy if at all possible and did not want any pain meds but would consider an epidural when the time came - and you know my midwife was actually the one talking me into the epidural praising it like it was free gold) that all my expectations would be met. HA was I wrong. I was given Pitocin at some point right around my water breaking and I only know this because my husband recalls this, not me. I was also given an episiotomy and I only know this because of all the damage that they were repairing from the extra tearing after the baby was deliverd, because nobody told me I was getting one and at this point I was very alert and remember the entire pushing and actual birth of Luke. Unfortunately I cannot go back and change what is done but I am glad I have educated myself and am preparing for what I think will be a positive birth experience next time around simply for the fact that although I may not be in control of the labor and birth itself (specifically how long I will labor, where I may end up actually giving birth, etc etc) I am in control of the experience because I have armed myself with knowledge, positive support, and people I trust to guide my through it.
Here is an interesting article about the long term negative effects of Pitocin from a blog I enjoy reading I hope you enjoy it...
Long Term Effects of Pitocin.

YAY LLL Parenting Conference Here We Come!

I am SO SUPER excited! I finally convinced Dave tonight to go to the LLL Conference in Daytona at the end of October! I am very excited needless to say! I had been thinking about it for a while and when I first brought it up I offered that just Luke and I would go and possibly share a room with someone else from our local chapter but he doesn't like to be away from Luke for one night let along two so he wasn't too warmed up to the idea.
But when I brought it up to him again tonight and said maybe he would like to go to because some of the seminars will be helpful for both of us and it will be a nice little get away for our little family before 3 becomes 4 he pretty much said ok! YAY!
So I am not waiting another second and I will be booking all our arrangements this weekend! This will work out great because not only will we be able to enjoy the convention as a family but I may be able to sit in one or two seminars without my curious toddler getting into everything while Dave can entertain him elsewhere.
So if you aren't yet planning on attending check out the details! and if you are see you there!
Yippee!

Loving my Ergo

Well I fell in love with my Ergo all over again today. I finally had the chance to use the head support that you can button up if the baby falls asleep and I was excited!
Today after leaving mommy day at Leanna's I stopped by the grocery store to buy a few things knowing I was racing against naptime because Luke was definitely looking pretty tired. But I was able to get to the store before he fell asleep. So I loaded him into the Ergo. When he is tired or cranky he generally does much better in the Ergo than if he is in the shopping cart or a stroller. And as I thought would happen he fell asleep while I was still shopping. So I just buttoned up the head rest to give his head some support and he was good to go. It was great!
I really loved my Mei Tai but I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Ergo. I even added the newborn insert on my baby registry at Montana Diaper Store. I am not sure if I will use it as much as the sling or the Moby wrap (which i also registered for) but we will see. My only concern is that it may be too hot for the baby. Or then again maybe not since the baby should be coming as the cold weather does.
That reminds me, my friend Trish forwarded me the website Montana Diaper Store. It is a great website with lots of great cloth diapering items amongst other things. It pretty much had everything I could think I will need for the new baby (which really just consists of cloth diapering products, a teething necklace just in case this baby struggles as much as Luke did, a Moby wrap because i don't have one yet, and maybe a few other odds and ends) and lucky for me you can create a baby registry there! So I went ahead and did this and plan to forward this to my family so that rather than getting a bunch of stuff we probably won't use they will be able to help us with what we do need. If you are expecting or plan on expecting check this site out!

Getting In The Swing of This Pregnancy Thing

Well I feel like maybe I am finally getting into the swing of this whole pregnancy thing. I have had a few visits with my midwife, Alanna Rubin and feel very comfortable and established with her. My belly is very obviously pregnant by now (I really need to get out the camera) much more so than at this point last pregnancy. I have been feeling the baby move around a lot over the last two or three weeks and over the weekend as we were sitting on the couch watching a movie Dave was even able to feel the baby kick! Pretty exciting considering I couldn't even feel Luke moving around until I think something more like 23 weeks. But I guess what they say is true: you feel and look pregnant much sooner after your body has already been through pregnancy once before.
Now my big kick is to start doing some pregnancy fitness stuff. Like I said before I was good at walking and doing some workout stuff at home before I got pregnant but since the whole first trimester "I feel like dying" phase I have fallen off the bandwagon. But I am ready to climb back on. Luckily I found a local fitness center that offers yoga and fitness classes for pregnant women as well as new moms. I am just waiting for my registration process to go through (they have to get a form from Dr. Punger to confirm I am "allowed" to participate) and then I am going to start taking the yoga classes. Thankfully they are in the evenings so Dave will be home to watch Luke so I can get away for an hour. I would love to take both the yoga and the fitness class but the classes are a little expensive for our budgeted family so for now I think I will stick to plan A which is take yoga in a class setting and do my prenatal excercising via home video. I would do both from home but I am not good at doing yoga alone and I never feel as relaxed and rejuvenated after a video yoga session as I do after an actual class. I think this is well worth the money.
I have also found someone to give Dave and I a hypnobirthing class. This is something I first heard about through Alanna, my midwife and after reading more and more about it and stories from other mom's who used this technique in their births I knew this is something I wanted to pursue. The only problem was the closest class I could find was all the way in Boca! But I had told Dave about it and was prepared to make this trip for the once a week - five week course. Then luck struck and I found a midwife in Jupiter who is certified in teaching hypnobirthing. Even better - she comes to you! So for two Saturday mornings in October Dave and I will be learning about the technique of hypnobirthing right here in our home. I am very excited about this. Again, for our family on a budget it will be hard to swing financially but I feel very confident it will be well worth it. When I was first considering a home birth I had always planned on having a doula and then when I read about hypnobirthing I decided I would make the choice between a doula and hypnobirthing and obviously I chose the latter. I feel confident I will have plenty of support available to me in my birth and the hypnobirthing technique is irreplaceable (and cheaper which makes my husband happy).
So that's where I am at. Oh wait I almost forgot! I got an ultrasound a week ago. We were going to get one ultrasound because Dave was so adamant about making sure the baby is healthy and okay. In fact if it was up to him we would have one every week. He is very paranoid about the health of the baby (I think I mentioned before he is still worried about Luke and SIDS!). Anyway, we got the ultrasound at the last minute because I had some bleeding the day before (a pretty scary instance!) and we wanted to check my placenta and the baby. Everything looked great! other than my partial placenta previa, which really isn't too big of a deal and should resolve itself soon. It was exciting to see the baby. At one point the baby even did a nice stretch for us which was really cool to see. Up until then I think I was in denial about feeling the baby move around and all but once I saw that I knew all that I had been feeling was definitely the baby and not just gas! No sneak peeks at the gender though! We really want to be surprised when the baby is born.

My Produce

Per request I am listing all the produce I got in my pickup this past Thursday and what I have done or am planning on doing with it.
Just in case you happen to be reading this and are not yet aware I joined a local organic produce buying club earlier this year. Here is an idea of what we get (pickup is every two weeks) and how we consume it:

Romaine Lettuce - We eat in salad generally at every dinner meal. Other than the fruit this is one of the fastest things we go through (at least lately with my in-laws here and five of us eating dinner every night. When it is just me and Dave I usually don't have to buy more lettuce before next pickup)
Swiss Chard- I use like I would spinach: saute with garlic and olive oil, add into smoothies, add to sauce for sphagetti or lasagna, steam and then sneak into things like soup and casserole (I like to "hide" veggies in meals to get Dave and Luke to eat without complaint).
Zucchini- Dave's mom makes a yummy zucchini soup so we will use our zucc's for this (includes zucc's, potatoes, laughing cow cheese..), also a veggie I steam, puree, and add to sauce, or good sliced and sauteed in oil with some Italian herbs.
Carrots- Luke and I eat raw with hummus or Gerrie's dip recipe, also steam and serve, add to soups or casseroles, or another veggie I hide in my sauce.
Plum Tomatoes- Add to salads or eat with dip or hummus
Cremini Mushrooms- Dave loves these sauteed and many times we will prepare and serve over chicken or steak. I also add these to casseroles or chop and add to sauce. Also great in salad.
Alfalfa Sprouts- Used in salads and sandwiches
Celery- Yummy snack with omega peanut butter, in veggie dip, use in veggie based soups, saute or steam and add to casseroles, add into tuna or egg salad which we eat on sandwiches.
Green Beans- One of the few veggies Dave's mom will eat so I will save these for when they are here for dinner and steam with some butter and herbs to serve with dinner.
Sugar Peas- I eat these raw good with hummus! I might try something different and look up a recipe for them.
Cantaloupe- One of Luke's favorites this will go quickly
Oranges- I will either juice in the morning or eat whole as snack.
Plums- a yummy snack one of my favs
Bananas- These go super fast. Luke eats a banana a day plus I often make smoothies with these (see my favorite smoothie recipe below).

Starting next pickup we will also be having the option of purchasing things like eggs, olive oil, and free range beef. I am very excited about this because these are all organic products that we consume already (other than the beef which I would like to include but have a hard time finding sometimes). Even bigger bonus is that the eggs, for instance, are $.50 cheaper per dozen than what I pay now in the grocery store!

My New Favorite Smoothie

Well it seems I either don't blog ever or I just can't stop blogging. One extreme or the other story of my life.
So I am sipping on my new favorite smoothie. I love making smoothies and they are an easy way to get some good nutrition in the mornings when I have to get somewhere and don't have time to sit down and eat some granola and fruit (my other breakfast I enjoy). So I decided to share my favorite smoothie because I know some of you are also smoothie fans...

1. four or five ice cubes
2. about 1/2 cup (I just eyeball it might be more like 1 cup) organic lowfat vanilla yogurt
3. 1 banana (I guess you could use frozen banana and then skip the ice cubes but I like fresh)
4. 2 tblsp Smart Balance Omega peanut butter (good source of omega's good for pregos and fills you up to make it a real meal)
5. 1 packet Flax Paks (Organic Milled Flax Seeds made by Carrington Farms I bought in grocery store and I buy the boxes of individual packets - one packet has 12g of Omega Flax.. these things are a great addition to lots of things I also put in my cereal and granola and just gives a nutty kind of flavor)
6. Agave Nectar to taste (some may prefer none but I like it a little sweet so I just squeeze some in while blending)

Blend it all together and your good to go. You can probably add some greens in there if you wanted. I haven't yet I only have done greens in my berry smoothies but I might try some spinach next time.

Bon Appetite!

a healthy prego = a happy prego

So far I have had a pretty great pregnancy. I feel much better than I did during my first pregnancy which I am sure has something to do with a much better diet and schedule. While pregnant with Luke I was working nights at the bar on my feet for most of 10 hours or more at a time. By the time I got off of work which was usually around 3am I was always starving and Dave (who was also on night shift) would be ready for his "lunch" and we would go eat at Denny's before I would go home to shower and watch tv while I waited for him to get home around 6am to call it a night. Then up again at 3 in the afternoon to shower and head back to the bar where I would usually eat my daily meal other than my Denny's grill cheese and tomatoe meal. I also did not cook at the time and on our days off we would usually go out to eat and go to the movies (the only thing to do since we were on night schedules and weren't ready for our day to begin until 6 at night). It was a fun time but not so healthy for the body. All the running around at the bar sure kept me in shape though but it all fell apart when I quite the bar once I was almost 8 months along and then wanted to do nothing but sit on my couch or relax in my bed to make up for all my hard work up until then.
So anyway the point to the whole story: we are leading a much more normal and healthy lifestyle now. Joining a local organic produce co-op earlier this year has also helped a lot because for the most part I plan and prepare our meals around the fresh fruits and veggies we get rather than just throwing together whatever sounds good at the last minute. I also find that I am much more able to control my sweet tooth and cravings than in my first pregnancy. I am much more motivated to stay at a healthy weight this time because I had such a hard time getting any weight off after Luke was born (in fact I am still carrying at least 10 pounds leftover from that pregnancy). So far at my 20 week mark I have only gained about 6 or 7 pounds as opposed to the 20 or more I had probably gained by now in my last pregnancy.
Now my only goal is to get into a good excercise regiment. Before I was pregnant I was pretty good at walking with Luke for an hour a day. I would either walk in the neighorhood or go walk the new bridge around the corner from the house. Then I fell off the wagon when all the naseau and exhaustion set in during my first trimester. And ever since that has subsided I just can't stand the heat outside even for a minute. I ordered some prenantal excercise videos that I wanted to start doing but I had a bleeding episode over the weekend and I am nervous about doing too much right now. I am sure it would be fine but I think I will wait until next week. I am very much looking forward to the weather cooling off so I can resume my outdoor walks and workouts that I much prefer and hope my back doesn't bother me too much to kill my motivation. For now chasing Luke around and sticking as much to my normal activities as possible has helped but I know I am still out of shape and want to feel as best I can in the end for the healthiest labor possible. I am actually trying to find a local prenatal yoga class as we speak. I think this will help me feel much better. I am also hoping it will help me with all the back trouble I tend to have while pregnant. I am already having back pain and I have a ways to go and a ways to grow.

Locked Out!

Well I learned the hard way today that Luke is able to lock the handle on the door leading out to the garage.
He was pretty focused on his building blocks so I thought I would sneak out to the garage for a minute to hang his diapers to dry. He noticed I snuck out just about immediately because I heard him knocking on the door and calling my name before I got the first diaper out of the washing machine.
I was on the phone with Dave and I asked him to talk to Luke to keep him occupied for a few minutes while I got this done. Luke LOVE LOVE LOVES to talk on the phone; especially to his Dada.
BUT when I went to open the door to go back inside and hand over the phone it was locked!!! I couldn't believe it he had locked me out. He was on the other side of the door trying to open it and getting pretty frustrated that I was outside and he wasn't but he didn't realize he had locked the door and had to turn the button back the other way so we could be reunited.
I opened the garage door and walked around to the front door. Just so you have a visual when you walk in the front door to the house the door leading to the garage is immediately behind it to the left. In fact, you have to close the front door in order to open the door to the garage. Also our front door is mostly glass and this was the only time I appreciated this feature because i was able to look and and keep checking on Luke as I tried to pick the door in the garage open.
Now it didn't occur to me what I would have done had I not been on the phone and had my phone out in the garage with me. Luckily this was the case and as soon as I told Dave what was going on he made arrangements to head home and unlock the door. In fact, he was ready to go lights and sirens because of course he is picturing Luke locked in the house and in a life threatening situation (he is very paranoid - did I ever mention he is still convinced Luke is still at risk for SIDS!?! gotta love him).
In the meantime he called our friend who is also a FPPO and happens to live right down the street to come down and try to help me sooner.
So about five minutes later Woody arrives and in less than two seconds he is able to pop the lock (or whatever he did) with his knife. WHOO HOO our hero!
I don't know what i would have done without a phone! So as soon as Dave gets home tonight we are going to figure out a way to get back in the house in the event we ever get locked out again. In the meantime I am still laughing that I got locked out of the house by my 1 year old!

pregnant update entry #2

Well I started blogging about my pregnancy (finally) earlier today and since Luke is sleeping and I am enjoying the weather outside too much to sleep (I love stormy weather!) I will continue with entry #2 on my pregnancy. Hopefully soon I can include some photos. Dave still hasn't shown me how to upload photos onto my laptop but I am going to make him show me when he gets home because I feel like my blog is so naked lately with no new photos. Plus my belly is really starting to pop and my aunt has been asking for some visual updates.

So let's see I think all I've really covered is discussion on pinpointing my due date. What next. Well once I found out I was pregnant I was eager to find a midwife. I had already decided long ago that I would prepare for a homebirth with a midwife with my next pregnancy. There aren't an abundant number of homebirth midwives locally but the decision was still very difficult because the few that are practicing locally are all amazing women! After narrowing it down to two midwives and meeting with each I followed my husband's amazing instincts and hesitantly chose one, Alanna Rubin. Had it not been for him I don't know that I could have made the decision because I felt so comfortable and relaxed with each but my husband has this sixth sense about people and he felt I would really connect with Alanna; which I have and I am very happy I decided to go with her.

Once I found a midwife and started making visits to her I started thinking alot about a birth plan. I had actually been reading a lot about homebirth and natural birth and a few other topics when I got pregnant (never too early to plan ahead) and the one thing I knew was that I didn't want a specific birth plan about each step of labor and where i wanted to be etc.etc. With my first birth things did not go the way I had envisioned and I was left very disappointed in the end so I do not want to get to caught up in details this time. But i do want to make plans enough so that I have a lot of options during my labor and birth and anything that may help me will be ready and available to me. The one thing I am certain of is I will have a birth pool of some sort set up for use. I am not going to get too attached to the idea of laboring or birthing in it but I have heard great things about how relaxing and helpful the water can be for a laboring mom and I want to be sure I have something here if I feel like I need to use it. I do have one small tub in the house but the tub is tiny and even tinier is the bathroom it is in. My hope is that I can find something that will fit in the extra space I have in my bedroom.

One of the questions Alanna asked when I first met with her was whether or not I planned on Luke being with us for the birth. At first I was hesitant about having him there because I don't want him to be scared. When I had the horrible flu earlier this year he was very frightened when I was getting sick and I don't want him to feel like that again. But after really contemplating it over the next few months I realized I really wanted him here with us. Hopefully my mother will be agreeable to being here to help take care of Luke because he is so good with her and she will be able to keep him entertained and distracted if need be for us. The other option was having my mom take him to her house but whenever I am separated from him I find I am very preoccupied thinking about him and what he's doing, if he's ok, etc. so I think in order to completely relax and focus on my labor I want him here at home with us. Not to mention it just seems much more natural to keep our house and home as normal as possible.


So what are we up to now let's re-cap...

entry#1 I covered my due date
entry #2 midwife and beginning my thoughts on a birth plan

When I get back from the grocery store I will try to blog to bring my pregnancy up to date. I had an ultrasound on Monday and I wanted to blog about that so I need to hurry and fast forward through all the other stuff ;) Stay tuned.

pregnant updates

Well I realized I haven't blogged much about being pregnant and as of this week I am halfway through (as long as the baby thinks so in the end at least!). The time has gone by quickly. It seems like just the other day we were jokingly buying a pregnancy test thinking there is no way I could be pregnant and finding out on the exact same date as I found out I was pregnant with Luke (Mother's Day of all ironic days). Once I realized I was pregnant (when the lines showed up on the stick loud and clear) I also realized I knew exactly the day of conception and was able to figure out that things were about to get even more ironic because my due date was looking to be about the same exact due date I was given with Luke (January 7). I figured it all because my in-laws were here (they are here more than not have you noticed?!?) and had just left on a Sunday (April 13) so Monday I decided to celebrate having our house back to ourselves with a little suggly wuggly after Luke had gone to bed. I was pretty sure I was ovulating because I found I was much more excited about snuggly time during the day or two I was ovulating than any other time of the month, but we threw chance to the wind and decided to snuggle without a cover if you know what I mean. Before going to bed I made a joke or two that we may have just made a baby but I really was more joking than thinking it could have really happened. I remember specifically the day (monday) because the next was Mommy Day which is always on Tuesday and I recall telling the girls there that we decided to stop trying not to try to get pregnant, meaning we weren't anxiously trying to get pregnant or anything and really were planning for it to happen more like in another 6 months to a year or so, but we weren't going to go out of our way to try to prevent it either. Little did I know I was already pregnant. We work fast what can I say. So this is how I was able to figure a due date with my midwife because I have never been good at tracking my periods. In fact this is why I didnt' realize I had missed a period until almost the middle of May (Mother's Day is on the 12th I think) and it wasn't even that I had missed that made me think as much as the fact that I was physically feeling "not normal" with some naseau and dizzy spells. I think I am going to start playing the lottery during the first few weeks of April every year because it seems as though the moons sure do line up in our favor during that time.

Well I think I am going to pause here. Somehow I have been able to type an entire blog entry just on pinpointing my due date etc. So I will pick up again and talk about what else has been going on in my pregnancy. Check back because it has gotten eventful lately...

Bad News

Well I was about to sit down to blog a little about our family bed situation and the concerns I've had lately about incorporating a new baby into the picture.
But I will have to blog about that another time.
Instead I will make it a quick blog with some bummer news. My folks are on the road on a month long motorcycle trip and called me today leaving me a strange message so I knew something was up. When I finally got in touch with them (they are off in Wisconsin somewhere and since they are on the bike most of the day it is hard to be in touch with them on the phone) it was nearly 10pm at night. I was pretty anxious to hear what they had to say.

I have told many of you that my sister just found out she was pregnant. This was exciting news because it meant we would be pregnant together at the holidays (one of the few times we see each other during the year). I was excited to give her whatever advice I could and help her with questions as they came along. My sister is a career woman and she and my brother-in-law enjoy their carefree life so I wasn't sure whether kids would be in their future but when she called to tell me she was going to have a baby she sounded very excited and I of course was so excited for her.

Sadly the bad news is that she miscarried the baby at the end of last week. Apparently she started bleeding on Thursday and when she went to the doctor on Friday they told her she had miscarried. Not that it makes it any better but she was still very newly pregnant. I don't think she was any further along than 8 weeks. My mom said the baby was not yet a fetus which I think happens around 12 weeks and was trying to comfort her with this. I don't think anything can really be comforting in her time of pain though. She is distraught. My mother said she can barely speak on the phone and she doesn't want to talk to anybody. I guess this is why I am just finding out about it. I spoke with her last week and she was really just starting to get her mind wrapped around the idea of becomming a Mom. She was talking to some neighbors about possible childcare for when she was ready to return to work and things like that. I can't imagine what she must be feeling.

I hope you will say a little prayer for her that she will work through this quickly and have a healthy pregnancy again as soon as she is ready.

Sick Again

Well I am ready to find a lifesized bubble for Luke and I to live in. Kinda like that movie "Boy in the Bubble" with John Travolta (old school!).
I just can't believe how often we are getting sick these days! In just one month Luke had bronchitis, then I got bronchitis (both of us horribly I might add), then just two weeks ago Luke came down with the flu and was vomiting with diarrhea for something like four or five days. Thank goodness I did not get this bug as badly as him. My was just some stomach issues for a weekend and body aches. I don't think I could have handled being that sick right now. I had the flu worse than I ever had earlier in the year (which I got right after Luke) to the point my husband was ready to call an ambulance for me. Being pregnant with another flu bug right now would be bad bad bad.

I woke up yesterday morning in the wee hours and could feel the sick coming on yet again; you know the whole throat on fire body aches kind of thing. Today I woke up feeling even worse. But generally in the beginning I feel a little better as the day goes on so both days I went about our normal business running errands yesterday and attending a birthday party today. I figured it would be good for Luke since he spent all week last week sick. Well of course while we are at the birthday party I start noticing that Luke is acting like he doesn't feel well. Then I see the runny nose setting in and before I know it he is burning up. Time to head home.
I gave him some Tylenol and he has been sleeping for the past three hours. He is definitely not well. And now I am feeling worse too.

I just can't ever seem to get on top of the sick thing. It seems like as soon as he is well we are back out playing with Luke's friends and doing our normal activities and before you know it boom he is sick again. I can always link it back to some of the other kids also being sick. So what do I do, not ever let Luke play with his friends and not get the exposure he really needs at this age? Or constantly put the poor kid (and myself) through the ringer with getting sick all the time. I am cautious making sure to wash his hands and wiping down the shopping carts if I put him in one etc. etc. but one can only do so much.

I wish I knew why we are always sick. We eat healthy, take vitamins, I even take probiotics. I have always had a horrible immune system and was frequently sick as a kid in school. Is this something genetic I have passed on to my poor son? I sure hope not.

Right now I am just frustrated and unsure. I hate to have to constantly ask if kids are sick and then do what? pick up my kid and leave if someone is like an obsessed parent? I don't want to be that guy but I feel like that is what it is coming to! Being sick is just taking too much of a toll on my little buddy and on myself (and my poor hubby who has to put up with us when we're sick!). ARGH! Sick again!

I Just Need a Moment...

I hate to disappoint anyone who may have wanted something stimulating to read about here but I just need a moment here... and since I can't do this out loud...
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew!
I guess I feel a shade better. I may have to do that again later.
Ok thanks

A Little Time To Myself

Well I have really been slacking in the blogging department. Occassionally I am lucky enough to have a few minutes here or there to sneak a peak at other blogs I enjoy reading but actually having enough time to keeping my own blog updated doesn't seem to be happening much lately. It seems kind of ridiculous, I know. It only takes maybe five minutes tops to get in a quick blog entry here or there but having a full consecutive 60 seconds with nothing else to do and without a toddler screaming to type his own blog entry (he has a bit of an obsession with electronics... especially when someone else is using them) is rare these days.
But I am going to keep on trying to maintain.
It has been so long since I have typed anything here probably nobody will check the blog to read it anyway but there is definitely something relaxing about typing about your day or venting about something or whatever you decide to use your blog for. So if for nothing else I will continue to make an effort at keeping my blog up just for myself and my sanity.

I am currently feeling very spoiled because I am typing this entry from my new laptop (an amazing birthday present my hubby surprised me with a few months ago) AND from my NEW KING SIZE BED! I am sure you are thinking what the heck is she doing lying in bed typing on her computer?!?! Well I am enjoying some time to myself!! Luckily my Mom took Luke off my hands for the better part of the day and while I usually spend these childless hours running around doing things I don't usually get done (putting away laundry, running errands, or heading off to appointments) I have decided as of today I will be using this time to RELAX! I don't get many childless hours, which is fine by me because even when I run to the grocery store without Luke I miss him, but the occassional days my Mom doesn't have to work or do her own running around she likes to take him to the park or to his music class or just to hang at her house in the pool. He loves it there because she lets him swim in the pool naked and he also has a little car she got him that he likes to pretend to drive around (I will have to post a picture - so cute). Bottom line he and Grandma are two peas in a pod and I think they spoil each other. And they inadvertently spoil me because while they are off spoiling each other I get to spoil myself. I figure with another little one on the way any time I have to myself will become even more sparse so I better start taking advantage of what down time I have now.

Well enough rambling for now. I think I may re-name my blog something about rambling because really that is what I do... in spoken conversation and on this blog thing... I am bad about it! I originally named it my Zen page because I thought it would be kind of meditative to be able to type my thoughts out and while it is by the time I get to the end of a post I am trying to figure out what I started typing about to begin with!

The Farm

I have great memories of being on my grandparents farm as a kid. My Mom was a school teacher and every summer her and my sister and I would travel by minivan up to Western Pennsylvania to stay on my grandparents farm for three weeks. I looked forward to this trip more than anything else all year. I loved the serenity and nature of the surroundings, the calm quiet, the daily chores to keep the farm going, the animals, the simplicity of it all. Here is a picture of me petting one of the barn cats in the barn where I spent a good portion of my time.

Looking back now I realize what a phenominal place it was and the hard work that my grandparents put in to keep it going. My grandfather was known all over for his amazing flowers. Every year he would plant five huge circles of flowers lining the driveway plus all along the front of the house. The tall middle flowers I remember he would dig up and keep in the large greenhouse he built through the winter then re-plant (perhaps it was just the bulbs? not sure) when spring rolled around. People would come from all over to see his flowers often stopping to take pictures. Now that I am older and giving my green thumb a go planting and caring for my own flowers I realize the dedication this takes, even for what little I have. I wish I could go back and tell my grandpap how proud I am for all his hard work. I also wish I could go back and take notes because he sure had a knack for growing big beautiful flowers!

To the left and above are a couple pics - one taken from the driveway looking down to the house and the other with my Grandma standing in front looking up towards the road.

Not only did my Grandpap plant and maintain all these beautiful flowers but he also had a huge garden... and I mean huge. At one time I think it was almost 2 acres of all kinds of fruits and veggies. The front half of the land was rows of every kind of vegetable and ground growing fruits like cantalope and berries. Then the back part was where he would grow pumpkins for the fall. Eventually when he started having heart problems, or maybe it was the fall from a ladder that broke his hip, he stopped growing pumpkins. But that didn't slow him down. In fact I don't know how he did all that to begin with, keeping in mind he was in his 70's during this time. Before that he also had in addition to the flowers, pumpkins, and vegetable garden, a full farm with animals such as cows, pigs, chickens, sheep... the pigs and cows were my favorite! And this was what he called retirement!!! Here are some pictures of the garden. He had everything from tomatoes, to green beans, potatoes, green peppers, broccoli... you name it! I can tell you one thing for sure we always ate good when we were there. Every meal included salad and veggies fresh from the garden. I wish I realized how lucky I was to have this exposure as a kid. I also remember my grandparents were never wasteful. I don't even think they had a trash can. My grandma kept an old cooking pot and all the food waste (food peels etc.) and things like that would get dumped into her "compost" (it wasn't exactly a compost but they had an area in the woods next to the house where they would dump these things). Then they had a separate area for paper trash. This would get burned at the end of each day. Whether or not this was such a good idea environmentally I don't know but to them it was less trash. Everything recyclable (cans and bottles) would be just that, recycled.

I also loved all the animals I got to be around when I would visit the farm. There were always the barn cats to take care of and they loved the extra attention when I came around. As a child I remember trying to climb through the fence so I could ride the cows. Good thing someone was always there to stop me. I also remember always asking if I could get in the pig pen and play, but I was never allowed. I think my love and animals grew from these experiences. When I got a little older (around 10) and my Grandpap had to cut back on some of the things around the farm (like the pumpkins) he decided to sell the animals. It was at that point the horses came. My grandpap had a nice barn (which of course he built himself) and he figured rather than letting it go to waste or just becoming storage for the tractors he would rent it out. So a few local ladies with horses moved their animals in. He always had anywhere from 5-8 horses boarded. It was always the same ladies and after a few years of becoming friendly with them (remember I was always in the barn, especially around feeding time to lend a hand!) I was allowed to ride. This was a new highlight for me! I had ridden horses a little before. Some neighbors had an old (I think quarter) horse and I would often go ride her. But this is where I got my first experience ridding english saddle. It was lots of fun!

I definitely miss the family farm. My Grandpap passed away when I was 19. He maintained a sized down version of his garden, the greenhouse, and 2 flower beds up until then even through heart problems and a replaced hip. My Grandmother stayed on the farm for a few more years until the winters were too bad for her to be out there alone. I was heartbroken when the farm sold. My dream had always been to live there and follow in my grandfather's footsteps. I am glad I have the memories to hold on to.

Nursemaids Elbow

Never thought I would be posting about something called Nursemaids Elbow but unfortunately I got a first-hand look at it today and I can tell you it wasn't happy or fun! My poor little guy was climbing up to sit on the chair next to me at the kitchen table this afternoon as I was clipping coupons. This is a new favorite pastime of his - climbing in general! I found him on the kitchen table this morning and he is even able to climb into the car and into his carseat unassisted (of course with some spotting from Mom)! We have affectionately started to refer to him as the family "dare-devil". Well today the dare-devil met his match!
Like I said before he climbed into the chair to my left and as usual sat right on the edge of the chair. This always makes me nervous but I have found if I move him myself he will usually do the defiant toddler thing and move right back so I left him where he was. We were listening to his favorite children's folk music cd so I am not sure if he started dancing or just slipped but I caught him in the corner of my eye and I grabbed for him but only got his hand/arm while the rest of him took a tumble. In retrospect he probably would have been better off just falling off the chair as a whole, arm included because 30 minutes later we were in the doctor's office having his Nursemaids Elbow looked at. Thankfully she was able to maneuver his arm a bit and his joint I guess popped back in place. Nevertheless it provided for a very upsetting day all in all.
Of course when he first fell I scooped him up to console him, not yet aware of the severity of the incident. Being the dare devil he is we have gone through these motions before a few times. He usually cries for 10 seconds and then he's back to climbing again! But this time I could tell there was something more. I started to try and undress him to see if I could see where the injury was and I realized that he was having lots of pain whenever I tried to move his right arm. I thought for sure I must have dislocated his shoulder by grabbing his arm when the rest of him was falling. I felt horrible that I couldn't console him. Later at the doctor's office she asked if I could nurse him to soothe him. Boy I wish that had been an option! I have tried this in the past but ever since we stopped using the Lact-Aid after his first birthday he won't nurse unless it is in the middle of the night to help lul him back to sleep. And even that he hasn't wanted any part of for the past few weeks. It seems to frustrate him more than anything so I didn't want to add insult to injury. It did make me think of some other moms I know who are recently weaning their children from breastfeeding. I would give anything to be able to offer my own milk as comfort to my child let alone nutrients. Although I hate to admit it I even have a hard time being around them lately, I think because for one I am jealous and second I am sad they don't see the breastfeeding relationship for what it can mean to the child. Especially with Luke even rejecting comfort night nursing.
But I regress... So after we shed some tears (I felt horrible! I have never seen my little guy in pain and it was heart-wrenching) I called Dave and asked him what I should do and we decided Dr. Punger would be the best place. I can't stand the ER and choose to avoid it at all costs! And thankfully she was able to fix him right up! He cried the whole way there (I felt terrible putting him in the carseat!) and off and on while I consoled him in the waiting room but after she manuevered his arm he was miraculously healed! I almost felt crazy, like I over-reacted! But of course I didn't.
Then when I looked up Nursemaids Elbow I saw it is something usually attributed to nanny's or babysitters? What does this mean? And I wonder if all the problems I have with my joints has been passed on to my little guy? I sure hope not. That was a pretty good fall and unfortunately my grabbing for him led to a pretty good tug of his arm.
Well that is the summary of my day. My two guys just woke from their nap so I gotta go. Hopefully next post will be about something happy!

Luke's new swim diapers

As I have already blogged about a few times now we have been using cloth diapers rather than disposables. So now that summertime has rolled around it seems only natural to also use reusable diapers for Luke to play in the water rather than disposable swim diapers.

Last summer even before I had considered cloth diapering I knew I wanted a better solution to the heavy and hard to get on disposable swim diapers we were using. They seemed so uncomfortable and held so much water I would have to take the diaper off every time he came out of the water so he wasn't sitting in all that wetness and then put another one on when it was time to go back in the water. Way too much trouble in my opinion. I know a lot of people use these disposable swim diapers and most just keep their babies in them the whole time and all I could think about is diaper rash! from sitting in such a wet diaper!!

Now that I have been formally introduced to the world (and ease) of cloth diapering I realized they also make reusable diapers for swimming. I was a little skeptical about this also because in my mind they would hold water and then I would have the same problem I did with disposables. But when we went to Luke's 15 month check up at Dr. Punger's and we got our first Swimmies swim diaper I was very pleased to see that it was more of a cover. I was excited to try it out!

So we went for a swim at my folks house and gave them a go. They work GREAT!! They don't have a whole bunch of absorbent liners but who needs that? When the kids are swimming around and getting wet why do you need these layers anyway? We can all admit we have pee'd in the pool at least once and it didn't hurt anyone.

Luke really put these diapers to the test when he pooped while we were swimming and this diaper contained the poop way better than a disposable which gets saggy and falls away from his legs once heavy with water. I just treated the diaper like I would any other cloth... held it over the toilet to get rid of any solid poo and then I rinsed it in the sink and let it hang until time for laundry. It is super easy.

Luke liked it so much he gave one to his friend Caleb for his first birthday. Caleb also likes to be earth-friendly with his diapers.

These diapers are very inexpensive and very useful especially for those of you who do lots of water activities like we do in the summer. You can order through twofloridadocs.com or stop by Dr. Pungers office in Fort Pierce and pick one up.

Finally! a funny signing story of my own

I have followed a great book that has guided me through teaching Luke signing ("Sign Language for Hearing Babies" by Karyn Warburton). When I read this book I really enjoy the cute letters found throughout the book that families have written to the author about memorable or significant experiences they have had with their toddler communicating through sign language. I always looked forward to a memorable story of my own when my toddler would communicate with me through sign language in an instance when communication might not otherwise have been possible... or at least not as memorable!
Finally my day arrived!
It was a lazy day yesterday around the Cuti house. Dave had been on call all week and through the weekend and we were all tired from our nights of interrupted sleep by the phone that seemed to ring the second his head hit the pillow. The night before he was called out at 12:30, then when he got home at 2:30 his phone rang again just as we were all settling back in to sleep, and of course again at 5am the phone once again roused us from sleep. I was laying on the couch yesterday morning while the baby played on the living room floor with his toys. He came over to me and started to sign "animal". This used to be the sign he used for "dog" but he has been using this sign for any kind of animal and changed his "dog" sign to be the "animal" sign while also panting or barking like a dog. (side brag note: he progressed all this on his own... pretty impresive for a 15 month old in my opinion!) So back to the story... Luke is looking at me laying on the couch and while gazing at my shirt (or the back of the couch... I couldn't figure which) he was signing "animal". I was very tired and kind of ignored him at first. I asked him where the animal was? and simultaneously thinking in my head if I had worn a shirt with an animal's picture on it. I finally gave in and looked down at my shirt and wouldn't you know there was a beetle perched near the shoulder of my shirt! Of course my natural reaction was to jump up and flick the beetle of my shirt. Then I just had to laugh because this is what Luke was trying to tell me! He walked over to where I had flicked the beetle and signed "animal" a few more times. I quickly tried to think of a sign for "bug" and did this with him a few times for picking up the beetle and putting him back outside. I guess next time I will pay closer attention when Luke is trying to "tell" me something! ;)

A fun little foursome

So I saw this post on another blog and thought it was fun and cute... and quick and easy.
Although my in-laws left a few days ago so I have my nightime computer time back (but not without a loss because I am very lonely without them here... my m-i-l has been staying with us for a month and that doesn't include the two weeks we spent up north with her before... so I am missing her now!) I am still working on getting back into my swing of blogs. But I will!
In the meantime thanks to Danielle for lending me this post ;)...
"Four Things Tag"
Four Jobs You've Had in Your Life
Runner in my un-airconditioned VW Bug in the middle of Florida summer!
Marketing Specialist for an online learning dotcom
Motorcycle and Watercraft mechanic
Bartender
Four Movies You've Watched More Than Once
because I have two movie moods:
seriously:
Adaptation
The Fastest Indian
Lady in the Water
Shawshank Redemption
and not so seriously:
Home Alone 1 and 2 (I watch at least weekly during holidays!)
Adventures in Babysitting
Can't Buy Me Love
Spaceballs
Four Places You've Lived
Fort Pierce, FL (born and raised)
Tallahassee, FL
Daytona, FL
Jacksonville, FL
Four TV Shows You're Watching
Thomas the Train (I am not much for tv for the tyke but once he saw this at a friends it was all down hill!)
American Idol (sucked in what can I say... but if your a fan David Cook rocks!)
Big Love (on showtime... should be back on soon!)
?? I don't get much tv time... I am struggling in this category
Four Places You've Been on Vacation
New Hampshire
Las Vegas (there is actually a lot to see beyond the booze and boobs)
Western Pennsylvania (family here but also beautiful on the eyes)
Long Island, NY (been here a few times but refuse to go to NYCity until we go at christmas time!)
Four Things You Love to Eat
Sushi!
my cooking... especially when it is experimental! ;)
my mom's cooking (always yummy)
chocolate
Four Things You're Looking Forward ToWatching
the snow falling while nuzzling up by the fire
what kind of people my children will grow up to become
Luke riding his first motorcycle!
video clips that we are taking with our new camcorder twenty years from now
Four Places You Love to Shop
the Internet
ebay (does this fall into the Internet?)
antique shops
TJMax

An Intense Day at the Beach

It was supposed to be a nice relaxing day to enjoy each others company and watch the baby play in the water. We headed out to the new pool area in Lakewood Park where we planned on meeting up with my folks and a few good friends. Such is my luck, the pool was closed! So we decided to venture on to the beach in North Fort Pierce. It was a nice day and we didn't want it to go to waste.

Once we got to the beach we settled in a nice spot near the inlet. I played in the sand with the baby until he got up and started to make his way down to the water. The conditions were good for him: low tide and plenty of area for him to play in barely ankle deep water. He was having a great time. After a short time our good friends found us and we settled into a few chairs at the edge of the water. Shortly after my folks also arrived.

We were all enjoying a nice day together. The water was nice and warm with some small cooler waves making their way towards the shore. I waded out in the water and couldn't believe how far I could while still standing in waist level water. I was fairly close to a few surfers and body borders waiting for a wave (which were small and gentle, coming at a pretty consistent pace) and decided to bend down to wet my hair and head back up to the beach.

The baby was having a ball wandering around at the waters edge and his gradma was enjoying following him around.

Towards the end of the day a friend of our good friends showed up to finish out the beach day with us. She positioned her chair next to ours and after introductions were made and small talk was done she decided to go for a swim with one of our good friends and my father. She said how much she enjoyed the water and swimming in the ocean.

The rest of us stayed near the waters edge chatting and soaking up the sun. Then the alarms went off...

I was standing facing the water when I noticed a woman quickly coming towards us with an alarmed expression pointing towards the water. When I finally heard her say she didn't have her phone and to call 9-1-1 I quickly realized the day just went from good to bad. I motioned for Dave to get up and get his phone. We scanned the water and saw our friend out in waist deep water supporting another person floating in the water. Dave started to reach for his phone and call 9-1-1 and then like a switch went off I realized not only was this the woman who had just recently joined us at the beach but she was in big trouble.

I rushed out to the water to help the others pull her to shore while Dave was conveying our emergency to the dispatcher on the phone. Once we got her on shore we realized the seriousness of the situation. We were feeling around for a pulse and turning her to the side in an effort to clear the salt water from her mouth and airway. Time was standing still.

I kept saying over and over "should I do some rescue breaths? let's start CPR!". There was concern from others and (what felt like finally) when everyone realized it would take paramedics some time to get here and we needed to react we moved into CPR mode. I kept asking if anyone was a nurse. It had been three years since I took CPR certification classes and in all the hustle I couldn't remember the compression to breathing ratio.

My husband, a police officer and a former paramedic knelt down next to me to start compressions while I waited for my que to "breath". Eventually a woman came over identifying herself as a nurse and helped talk us through CPR. After a while when Dave was fatiguing another man kindly took over chest compressions while I continued mouth to mouth.
We continued CPR for what seemed like forever until the paramedics arrived and took over.

The purpose of my posting this experience is two-fold:
1: Please keep this woman in your prayers as she continues to fight for her life.
2: Please consider taking a CPR class

Once the woman had been transported and things were calming down a few people approached to say good-job to us but my first response was that I felt it my duty as a fellow human being to help this woman and I would hope someone would do the same for me and my loved ones. This woman was somebody's daugher, sister, mother, friend and if it were my daughter, sister, mother, friend I would hope others would offer the same unquestioning help.
I can tell you for sure without having ever taken a CPR class I definitely wouldn't have been as prepared to help. In fact one of the first things I did this morning was register to take another CPR class (which by the way not only gives you instruction on how to perform CPR but also how to help someone in any type of first-responder situation) and from now on I plan on keeping up-to-date with this.

I strongly encourage everyone to do the same. Things can happen in an instant when you are least expecting it. I know for me, I would like to walk away from the situation knowing I did everything in my power that I could to help this person, including being prepared for a situation like this as much as one can be.

Some quick pics of my little buddy!

My beach buddy is also a comedian!!

Two of his favorite things in one - water and a gadget to operate! It doesn't get better than this!

Here's Luke helping me and Nana get the ground ready for some flowers. He's great with a rake!!

The Cuti's have gone cloth!

Well we did not fall off the face of the earth... maybe just a trip near the blogging ledge but no fall.

I had every intention of sitting down here to blog about something not baby related but as I looked over just now I saw the cute face of my baby pooping in his new cloth diaper and smiling at me and I figured... what the heck. The baby is my life now so the words flow more naturally this way...

So for those of you who don't know we started cloth diapering just after Luke turned one. I had been thinking about it for a while but just never took the time to look into it. I think I may have mentioned earlier I am the type resistant to change, even if for the good. So it was a bit of a process for me. I had to process it in my head first and research it a little. The selling point for me was when I saw a picture on another blog of a decomposing diaper (keep in mind it takes so long for one to decompose it might as well be made of concrete!) and I started thinking about everyone I know with kids in diapers and how many diapers that adds up to in just one day... well my mind nearly exploded.

Dave is always talking about the melting ice caps and global warming. It is close to his heart because he loves polar bears. We have watched a number of documentaries on the effects global warming is having on these animals and it is heart wrenching. So I started thinking about what I could do to do my part. Then I started to read about experiences other families had with cloth diapering and it sounded shamefully easy. And now that we are cloth diapering just about full time (I just bought a few more diapers... another few and we should have more than enough to completely stop the use of disposables) I can also say it is shamefully easy. I saw shamefully because if I had known then what I know now I would have done this a long time ago and saved who knows how many diapers from going into the garbage!

So I encourage everyone to give it a try! I have even considered giving one or two as baby shower gifts to encourage another family to just give it a try but I am afraid this might be a little too forward (suggestions here?).

Oh and if it encourages you.... cloth diapers are also available in a limitless variety of patterns and colors so not only will your baby/toddler/child be going green and cozy (many others praise cloth diapers because they are more comfortable and cut down on diaper rash) but they will also be stylin'!!!

Time Flies!

I have written about three posts so far this week but I can't ever seem to finish one before I am beckoned away from the computer and naturally by the time I get back to it I have pretty much lost my train of thought and have something new to write about instead.

So for once in my life (and only out of necessity!.. so don't get too spoiled here!) I am going to make it short and sweet.

I can't believe how much Luke is changing these days. Just in the past week he has started signing and can now communicate through signing "no", "music" (both of which he has been doing but I guess I never realized it before), "more" (his favorite and most frequent!), "food/eat", "sleep/tired" (very cute!), and tonight he signed "milk" for the first time. The "milk" sign was cute because he was paying close attention to his hands and my hands trying to re-create what I was doing. In the end rather than opening and closing his hands he does more of a pinching motion with them... I was so impressed to watch this all unfold.

Also something new he has started is letting us know he is ready to go to bed! A week or maybe a little more ago as I noticed he was starting to get cranky and restless (and it was getting late... he doesn't have a "set" bedtime but he generally gets cranky and tired around the same time when we are at home) I asked him if he was "ready for sleepies?" I usually say something like "are you tired? you ready for sleepies?" only this time I started walking towards our bedroom as I was saying it. Now that he is walking it never occured to me he would just follow me. The next night he initiated the walk to the bedroom himself when I asked if he was "ready for sleepies". Dave and I exchanged an incredulous look. We thought it may be coincidence but lo and behold every night since when he is tired and ready for bed he starts to lay on me and we sign "sleep", I ask him if he is tired and "ready to go to bed/ready for sleepies" and he goes right for the bedroom and to the rocker to wait for me to come read him his nightly bedtime story "Mommy Loves Me".

I also can't believe how much he has progressed with his walking in no time. Especially considering he has been sick twice and congested and teething ever since his first birthday. Right after his first birthday (within a week!) he was walking independently. A few weeks later he was walking everywhere! Now he is giving the running walk a go. He goes back and forth through the house trying to see how fast he can go. It is hilarious!

He is also showing his independent side much more. At mealtime he insisits on feeding himself. As you can see from the picture this doesn't always make for a "neat" eating experience ;) He has nearly mastered the spoon and has pretty much fed himself at least a half dozen times using the spoon and a bowl. Of course he still likes to use his hands a lot but he was determined to master the art of eating with silverware! Every once in a while when he is really hungry he will hand the spoon over to me to help him get a couple good spoonfulls in but he is pretty good at doing it himself. And note: only when he hands the spoon over... definitely don't try to coax him away from doing it himself if that is the mode he is in!

Even in other settings he wants to learn how to do things himself. We were playing outside today and I got out the bubbles. He loved watching the bubbles but he was more interested in figuring out how I was making the bubbles come from that little orange wand. He took the wand from me and dipped it in the container as he had seen me do and then was a little perplexed about the whole blowing part. He would put the wand up to his mouth and cringe when he tasted the soapy bubble solution. Then he would hand the wand back to me so he could watch me do it again.

The picture above is Luke with what looks like a little green lunch pail on his arm. This is actually him imitating me "going bye-byes". For months now he has been signing bye bye (again... a sign he has been doing that I dismissed because he wasn't doing other signs I guess... silly me) and anytime I get our "bye bye" bag and gather him up he knows it is time to go bye bye. About a month ago he started "pretending" he was going bye byes like Mommy. I kept this "lunch pail" (it is actually the first food grinder I bought when I started making baby food) in a low cabinet and he started taking it out of the cabinet and putting it on his arm and walking around the house like this. At first I didn't quite figure out what he was doing but then he would also wave bye-bye to me and I realized he was pretending to go bye byes like Mommy does when she gets her bag. It is hilarious to watch him now because he goes for the cabinet, gets out the pail, puts it on his arm, turns to you to wave bye bye, then heads for the door.

Well now that I have once again NOT made it short and sweet (maybe this will be a new goal... I will continue posting with the goal of making it short and sweet and see if I can ever make this happen!!... probably not!) it is time to call it a night!

Luke is signing!

I was just about to give up hope! And then a few days ago Luke signed back to me for the first time! We have been using baby sign language for many months now. Really just the basics: food, milk, more... simple signs for basic needs. For a while now we could tell he understood their meanings. He would have a definite reaction if he was hungry and I began to sign food etc. But he never used the signs in return. On reflection I think it may be that he never really needed to sign. I would always offer him milk throughout the day so he was never really thirsty and he always wanted to eat around the same times (solids) so I usually always had his meals ready ahead of time (or at least new that is what he wanted when he started to get a little fussy around eating time). We continued to use sign language I think more out of habit than anything. We had started when Luke was around 6 months old and we never expected him to sign back right away so we really made it a routine. I am glad we stuck to it because it is amazing to see him able to communicate with us!
I was giving him lunch a few days ago and he starting using the sign for "more" when all his food was gone. I couldn't believe it!! It came out of nowhere. I excitedly washed some more blueberries and once these were gone he signed "more" again. I grabbed the box of cheddar bunnies and gave him a few of these. After a few more rounds of this (and a very full tummy I am sure... sometimes I can't figure out where all that food goes!) he stopped signing for more and I new he was done. He has been signing more ever since. He is using this sign for everything right now. I think he is very excited he is able to communicate and he is using this sign a lot. For instance, we were walking on the sidewalk and he really wanted to walk into the parking lot, which of course was off limits. He kept signing more telling me he wanted to go farther than where we were allowed. Now the big challenge is figuring out what he wants more of when he is signing "more".
Today he added the sign for "food" into his signing vocabulary. When he got hungry today he started signing more. I showed him the sign for food by putting his fingers to his mouth and he understood. Now he is also signing "food". I am still using "more", "milk", and "food" but I have also started using the sign for "help" (because he is often "asking" us for help lately taking our hand and leading us to toys he wants turned on etc.), "finished/all gone"... and hopefully once he starts using a few more of these I can add in things like "bath", "music" (which he loves), "light" (turning the lights on and off is a favorite past time as well) and others. I use other signs in coversation with him like cat and dog (basic stuff that I have been doing for a while, again out of habit) so I am curious to see what his next sign will be.
If anyone is interested in teaching babies/toddlers to sign there is a great book which I have read over and over and has been very helpful. It is called "Baby Sign Language For Hearing Babies" and it is written by Karyn Warburton. I highly recommend this book and the signs that are listed in this book. I have noticed that different books will have variations in their signs but this book has the simplest signs I feel for babies/toddlers to pick up. And my other word of advice... DONT GIVE UP! It took Luke at least 6 months to sign back to us. I guess perserverance does pay off!

Permission to Mother on the market!

If you don't already know the family doctor that we visit (Denise Punger, MD FAAFP IBCLC) has been diligently working to complete and publish a book called Permission to Mother. If you click on this link it will take you to the website where you can read a synopsis of the book and actually purchase the book because it has been officially published and put on the market! YAY!
I of course have already ordered my own copy which I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of (it shipped yesterday and is on its way!!!).

Dr. Punger has been a lifesaver for our family. She was the one doctor that was willing to help me save my breastfeeding relationship with my child just when we thought it was hopeless. She went well beyond the expected standard of care and provided so much of her own time and patience to introduce us to the options available to continue and maintain breastfeeding even with low milk supply issues (I should specifiy... options other than bottle feeding which is the only option given to us by other doctors).

Once it was determined I did have a low milk supply I was gently guided (and I say gently because she is able to understand the emotional attachments of a nursing mother) by Dr. Punger to the use of something called a SNS (supplemental nursing system). By using this device I was able to supply to Luke additional milk while still nursing at the breast avoiding the use of a bottle. Typically this is not something most ped's are familiar with (at least not the ones we have come in contact with in one way or another). We were very lucky to have found her guidance in the nick of time!

And even beyond breastfeeding we have enjoyed a wonderful doctor/patient relationship always giving us choices and time (words I never associated with a doctor until now).

We send many congratulations to Dr. Punger and highly recommend you purchase and read Permission to Mother.

Music Man!

Well it seems I have a music man on my hands! Here is the best picture I could get of Luke jammin' out. (Ignore the fact that I still have my Christmas rug on the floor... de-decorating takes a while around here ;) I have been trying to get some good pictures or video on the camera of him but there is one thing he tends to like better.... cameras (or cell phones or any other electronic gadget) so the moment he spots one of these things the world stops for him.

But back to the music. So as a little baby I would play different CD's for him. My Mom would often bring over CD's for us to try. Some of the music was classical, one favorite was by a woman we know who plays the harp (she actually plays for sick children in hospitals as well), we have soothing CD's with nature sounds in the background... you get the picture. We would also do lots of singing. My Mother was a primary school teacher for many years so when she would come visit Luke she was always armed with a stack of papers that had the lyrics to any child song (from "Hush Little Baby" to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" etc etc).

At the time I was glad I had these resources but I don't think I was fully appreciative of it all until Luke was old enough to show visible signs he was into the music. The older he got, and the more I could tell he enjoyed the music, the more enthusiastic I got about playing it, singing it, dancing to it... you get the picture. As a matter of fact... he can actually do the itsy bitsy spider now! This was something my mother started with him to calm him down for diaper changes and now when it is time for a diaper change he will start doing the finger plays for the music asking you to sing it to him. It blows me away!

Now a days I think of him as my little music man because he LIVES for music! He has one CD in particular that is his favorite: A Smooth Road to London Town. It has about 20 something songs that include lullabyes to finger play songs some with a folk tone and others with a little reggae type sound. The minute he hears these songs no matter what mood he is in or what he is doing he focuses right in on the music, stands up, dances, and claps and even sings in his own toddler way of singing. (I am still trying to get used to referring to him as a "toddler"... kinda strange). It has been a lifesaver because I have heard this CD so many times I hear it in my sleep therefore anytime we are out somewhere and Luke is having a bit of a rough time all I have to do is sing one of the songs (or some of the songs) and he is able to calm down and re-focus. I would much prefer the people in the grocery line hear me singing than have to hear Luke have a meltdown right there as we are waiting to purchase groceries. Don't get me wrong... it is not always magic... but it will always buy me at least the little bit of time I need.

The music man is also great for a little laugh here and there. There is nothing more entertaining (at least to his parents) or uplifting than turning on some music and watching him do his little dances (which Dave and I named one night as we enjoyed the show!).
Today I cleaned out his room and I decided to move his little boom box that is in his room on his dresser down to his level so he could control it himself. Now he has the best of both worlds... something electronic with buttons AND it plays music! He was ECSTATIC! Before bedtime Dave and I sat in there with him for an hour while he played a concert for us on the cd player. Funny thing was he liked it best when the music was turned up loud! Boy am I in for it when he is a teenager!

Cleaning out the Closets

Well I have spent most of the day today cleaning up and cleaning out Luke's room. I came across lots of stuff that I even forgot I had stashed here and there... things I haven't seen since before he was born that I probably put away after our baby shower and never got used. It definitely made me reflect on how I was feeling as an expectant mother and a new mother with a newborn versus how things are today. Before Luke was born I had no idea what to expect other than what I learned from general population around us (keeping in mind we didn't have many other families we were close to with kids let alone babies). For instance, when it came to breastfeeding we really didn't have anyone to relate to. I am not sure what made me decide I was going to try this vs. not. I as a child was not breastfed. Perhaps it was because I knew others who had? But I was not very confident in this endeavor I am sure because everyone I knew who had breastfed had quit at one point or another because they either "couldn't" or in one instance I was told "the pediatrician told me to stop because I was not providing enough nutrients". !!! So whenever I was asked whether I was going to breastfeed or not I would always reply with "I am going to try". (Maybe this was a factor in my breastmilk supply problems?)

Bottom line... it is amazing to see where we are at now versus where I obviously expected to be based on what I have cleaned out of the closets. Some examples:
1. WHAT I CLEANED OUT: boxes of bottles, bottle nipples, pacifiers galoore!, and stashed samples of formula that we received in the mail and all our parenting classes etc (I don't throw anything away!)
WHAT I REPLACED THEM WITH: the remnants of all my SNS (supplemental nursing system) supplies. These are what I used so that I could breastfeed and give Luke the supplemental milk I could not provide at the same time. I hope I will not have to use these with our next baby(s). And after additional reflection I am actually thinking of throwing these out too because keeping them may be subliminally sending the message that I will need these again.
2. WHAT I CLEANED OUT: a bouncy chair seat thingee that plays music, vibrates, etc. given as a gift. I never even took it out of the box!
WHAT I REPLACED IT WITH: My slings and my own singing voice (which isn't recording material but has been good enough for Luke).
3. WHAT I CLEANED OUT: a TON of pampers/huggies samples
WHAT I REPLACED THEM WITH: My new stash of cloth diapers (which is still growing! hopefully soon I can say I cleaned out all my leftover disposable diapers!)
4. WHAT I CLEANED OUT: The playpen that we NEVER used. Well I can't say never. There were a few times we had friends with babies over who put them down to sleep in there. This is really the only reason I left it in the corner of Luke's bedroom for so long (it also served as a good place for clean clothes I hadn't hung up yet... maybe now I will be forced to be more on top of the laundry ;)
WHAT I REPLACED IT WITH: The new puppet stage and puppets my sister got him for Christmas. Luke LOVES these puppets and loves it when we play puppet show together.
5. WHAT I CLEANED OUT: "seated play" toys (like walkers only what we had were stationary).
WHAT I REPLACED THEM WITH: I left these toys in certain parts of the house and let Luke explore the attached toys from outside the restraining seat. I never thought it very appropriate to keep him restrained, especially once he could move around on his own, because I always felt he needed freedom to explore on his own.
6. WHAT I CLEANED OUT: The idea of "baby training"
WHAT I REPLACED IT WITH: Good old fashioned hugs, holding, and nurturing

These are just a few of the things that have changed from what I thought our household might be like before Luke was born. For instance, I never imagined myself making my own baby food! We also co-sleep, something I never even really heard of or considered pre-baby! When Luke was a little too old (or I should say long) for the bassinet we had attached to our bed (which had a removable rail so it was a seamless extension of the bed and really nothing more than an anxiety reducer that the baby would roll of the bed) we moved his crib in our room. Everyone thought we were nuts but we kept saying we weren't ready to be separated from the baby. Even with the crib a few feet away he spends 90% of the time in bed with us anyway. People keep asking "when are you going to move the crib out of your room" and we smile and say when we need to make room for the King size bed we will need once we have more kids ;)

It feels good to have accomplished a little cleaning today. Like I said I am a pack-rat which makes it hard to keep up with organization and cleaning... but once it's done it feels nice. And it was nice to have the opportunity to reflect on where we are as a family. It made me realize that we have reached a nice point of Zen. Our parenting styles may be different than other families, and it may be the same, but it works for us and that is the important thing. I can wake up in the morning feeling good and confident about the choices we are making and go to bed at night as a family at peace. It feels good to have finally reached a point of confidence where I don't have to question myself or consider the questioning of others.

Now the big question is... what do I do with all this stuff!?!?

the end of a beginning

Have you ever heard this saying: "the beginning to an end"? I am sure most have heard it even in simple passing conversation. Usually it is accompanied by "finally!" and can sometimes go something like "Finally! The beginning to an end of....". To me it has always held a negative connotation for some reason. Perhaps because I have never been much for "ending" anything... I am one of those resistant to change types I suppose. You know the type: never throws anything away, hates to say good-bye, loves simple daily routines such as wash face, brush teeth, brush hair in that exact order every morning. In fact, I only get a hair cut once a year for fear the person doing to cutting may go a little too far and I may not recognize myself afterwards!

I can't say every aspect of my life is controlled by these uncontrollable urges. I do like to try new things, taste new foods, meet new people, learn new things. Perhaps this is why I much more enjoy the phrase "the end of a beginning". It means I have introduced something new into my life which is just beginning to blossom. Some may say they have started a new chapter in their lives but I would prefer to say I have opened a new book. Chapters end as books... well they have the potential to be endless.

And so this brings me to the introduction of my blog: "Jen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". Perhaps it sounds familiar? It is a play on the wording to the title of a book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Robert M. Pirsig. If you are not familiar with this book I do highly recommend it. It is a philosophical book that will challenge your mind and spirit. Just so you have an idea I will quote the back cover:

The extraordinary story of a man's quest for truth. It will change the way you think and feel about your life.

How I came to read this book is a funny story - I will try to make it short (something I generally fail at as you will see if you choose to follow this blog spot). As a child my fondest memories are of spending time with my Father in our garage as he taught me the art of motorcycle maintenance, in the literal sense. My small hands and fingers could always get to the nuts and bolts that his could not. My Father was, and continues to be, a wonderful teacher always so patient and thorough with my always curious questions and desire for knowledge. As a teenager I stumbled on this book. I cannot recall whether it was part of the family library or someplace else but regardless I thought it was a book about a guy named Zen who took road trips on his unreliable motorcycle and was always stopping to make the necessary repairs - right up my alley! Boy was I wrong (for the most part at least).

Eventually I did read this book cover to cover and it was enlightening to say the least. The thing that always stayed close to me was the way the author took two things that most people would think completely separate and unrelated - motorcycling and philosphies of life - and joined them so seamlessly. In this way I could really relate to this book. I have always felt like a person with many different and unrelated talents and fulfillments and wasn't sure how they all were meant to work together. I felt jumbled and contradicted by my own self at times.

But as I have grown into adulthood, and now what I feel has been the defining moments for me: Motherhood, the pieces are falling into place. I am realizing now that all those traits, abilities... whatever we will call them... although at one time seemed jumbled and jarbled now are beginning to shape into a cohesive unit that is me. They were the beginnings to my now and future... hence the end of a beginning.